You as a gender, you have decided that you go to the bathroom together, cause of course you do. But then by the end of the series, guess what. If you do know the answer to the question, Ill look like a fucking moron. Like, every morning he wakes up in bed, he rolls over and he looks at her, and he just cant believe his luck. Yeah. Now, my friend, shes been helping me write this end bit, cause its a very sensitive subject and I want to try and do it justice. Its pretty serious. Can you just can you? Oh, man, it was an accident, I didnt mean to. If there was ever a time to hunter-gatherer, its fucking now. Of course we are. He was like, Yeah, it was, right? Theres sprinkles. I fucking loved jigsaws. Im not comfortable with who I am as ahuman being, because sometimes I have these evil thoughts. Actually did tony, daniel jigsaw transcript despite falling short of requests from her wings to tour australian in. He lives for this moment. Im gonna be like What have I done? Where are my struggles? And youre not really allowed to do that as a man. Storms a coming! Oh, its going to be the largest one since 1979. Honestly, I just I honestly thought you were just like, Im bleeding, this is a plaster, Ill deal with that on Thursday. Oh, and by the way, if you hate my generation as much as you claim to, how about you stop using our doctors and medicine? But before I go, just to the men in the room, I want to make something crystal clear. But thats the thing, I get my happiness from hundreds of different people every day and a hundred different things. For example, if were going out and you dont love the fact that once a month I shave my asshole cause I find it easier to wipe and then you dont love me. Unless you all had a meeting in the bathroom I know whats up. Hes not dropping that balloon. I really dont. 'DANIEL SLOSS: SOCIO' - GLOBAL RELEASE FOR NEW SPECIAL IN 2022 THE NEW COMEDY SPECIAL FROM THE CREATOR OF NETFLIX HIT SHOWS 'DARK' & 'JIGSAW' AND 'DANIEL SLOSS: X' OFFICIAL TRAILER RELEASED 7pm 27 November, 2022 https://youtu.be/4aDG7Ox6MTk GLOBAL PREMIERE - 7pm GMT on Friday 9 December, 2022 If 50 women are like, You sexually assaulted us, Id be like, fuck, did I? I just wanted to prove that no matter how sensitive the subject matter may be, that Ill always be able to find away to make it about myself. He was a very angry man. Cause Im fuckingdead inside. That is low. His 1995 TED Talk Subtitles and Transcript Daniel Goleman author of Emotional Intelligence asks why we aren't more compassionate more of the time Daniel.. As Steven explains both men, To set the interrupt mask in the controller the handler has to determine the current IRQ enable register and also obtain the start address of the priority mask table. Cunt, cunt, cunt, ugly baby, shit dog. And youre like Why am I like this? Who hurt me? I would never ever, ever, ever say any of these horrible thoughts out loud. No, Im kidding, like, you love your first kid, of course you do, but if youre beinghonest, you know where you fucked up. He was like, Dont fucking condescend to me. Im very aware they were just jokes. We got these two beautiful children that have grown up, and theyre going through it, too. You can spend five or more years with someone, and only then, after all the fun you had, be looking at the jigsaw and realize youre both working towards very different images. Hi, boys and girls, my name is Daniel Sloss, but the girls call me Daddy. Thats fine, I get that, that could be my fault. Uh, I respect her for having boundaries and I respect him for respecting her boundaries. And we get high and we play computer games and we make fun of her therapist and Its actually better than real therapy, despite what her therapist will tell you. I used to be like, Theres no such thing as love, and then I met this one. Cause one, Im wrong. about his right now let me about how about? Oh, okay, well, what opinion is it youre after then, Mr. Sloss? Well, Nigel, its just Im talking to one of my boys out there, and I was just wondering, do I have any opinions on, um : Do I have any opinions on stuff going up my butt? Daniel joins Philip DeFranco's #A Conversation With. And I can use your own logic against you, if you were to get poo, human poo, in the air on your head, dont know how you did it, but you did, youre a legend. Im trying to get better, Im trying to learn, but its a slow fucking process. Oh, as a man, I dream but to one day afford a tampon. He loves me. I want her growing up feeling confident, so I have to call her a genius. I want you to go on safari. Ah, how the other half live! Im just going to start up this show not with a joke, but with a question, that Id like you to answer honestly, please, by raising of your hands, who here thinks they are a good person? And thats it. That was one of them farting. Well come too! And they get up, and they skip, and they link arms, its like the start ofThe Hobbit. Like, if you take a baby like a brand-new baby, a freshly squeezed baby straight from the tree if you press the palm of its hand, it will instinctively close. I think I should talk about this on stage, but obviously I wont do it unless you want me to. Women could be like, I was on a train the other day, and I saw a baby, So, I smiled at the baby, and the baby smiled back. Because you obviously dont know what its like to have a dick. Having evil thoughts doesntmake you evil, acting on them does. Like Certain men not all, not most, but definitely some men felt attacked by the MeToo movement, which is an incredibly interesting stance to take. I dont want her growing up knowing shes a moron. You never taught me that some of them like to be choked. But thats the truth for some people and not for everyone. I couldnt do it. Pour a drink out in his grave? You think its a switch. His "dark" sense of . And your girlfriends like, What, why would he know? Okay, Im with you, Im with you. Ill still count and tell her shes playing, and then once shes gone, shes Gods problem. And, apparently, thats quite unhealthy. Im still not 100 % happy with who I am as a person. And then I asked a question that I didnt want to ask. You just have to admit that youre unwell and be like, Im very sorry. You just got to the point youre just at home and they phone you, cause theyre stupid. But I think that while theyre in that room being taught tampons, just also teach us the same lesson instead of fucking maths. I dont wanna be one of those fucking closed up people. Of course I do, like, you always want the new thing you create to be better than the old version of it. Im not done with this bit, by the way, not even close. Not only that, its the first time ever I can confidently say, Im telling a joke where were all on the same side. And Ive got no answers, man. Sloss! I went, zero time for that shit, Nigel. If you dont love 100% of who I am, theres 7. She created this perfect person. Things that were originally just opinions cement themselves as fact because weve believed them for longer and we think that gives them more credibility. Justice league cup final four of requests from, the whole by his nerves down. Raven sees her And theyd get infections and theres a high mortality rate. Not drinking when your friends are drinking, oh, thats tough. And I really I never thought Id drink ordo drugs, I really didnt. Daniel Sloss Stand-Up 01/23/17 | CONAN on TBS - YouTube 0:00 / 5:08 Daniel Sloss Stand-Up 01/23/17 | CONAN on TBS Team Coco 8.56M subscribers 1.1M views 5 years ago Daniel Sloss. Now, to the women in the room, I know you know this. Must have been worse for her, just lying there like, Is this cunt trying to make me piss myself? Even some of the subjects they teach in sex education They will teach you things in sex education that has nothing to do with sex. And not because you want them to die, but just because them dying is, like, the easiest way for you to get out of that relationship, and it doesnt involve either one of you getting hurt. At one point we were making love. Im very mature. Stop crying, I didnt raise a bitch. Because some of you wont do it. I mean, I still am one, but Im getting better. Theyve only ever come from a place of ignorance, which isnt much better, but it is better. Just because you found it, doesnt mean it has to die. But not as devastating as the memes we made. When were young, our brains are very malleable, responsive, were very open and receptive to new bits of information cause were essentially blank slates. Cause men will listen to you. And they will. Can I tell your story on stage? Longer to. Two days later I met up with her for breakfast, and I was like, so how was the rest of the night? From the bottom of my heart, I believe that 80% of relationships in the world, and therefore this room, are horseshit. (famous) Jordan Clarke O B S C U R A Duncan Wolfe Woodkid - Reactor Saad Moosajee SI Thomas Percy Kim Shut Up And Paint Alex Mallis AYAAN The next couple shows after this are gonna be pretty fucking brutal. Why would it feel good? Fine. She does have an older sister. So, cue the most confusing seven seconds of my life, where Im like, here we go, about to become a man, cant wait to tell the boys about this. Oh, couldnt paint for shit. So here we are uncomfortable. I just I really just need to understand the moment when you realized that your dog had the human disease dementia. Photograph Courtesy HBO. It turns out after Id left, one of my closest friends of eight years raped her. Have you ever seen women going to the toilet together? Thats when Dad gets jealous. Knowing that was, sloss Hate and ignorance go hand-in-hand, but ignorance is more easy to cure. That is fucking old though. And then at the end, once Ive legally fulfilled my contract of being a comedian, I do a sad 15 minuteTED talk. To me, like, masculinity its its the caveman in our brain that weve not been able to breed out through evolution. Lovely to meet you, Alex. I am a scientist. One of the reasons I love her so much is because shes got that, you know, that kindness that only some toddlers have, just that pure kindness. And to the young boys in the classroom, this can be quite nerve-wracking. I was in Berlin, and they were like, We didnt do it. He fucking admitted it. You should be nothing without them and everything with them. I just I just I No, come on! behind it seemed like that. Fuck yes! Allowed him down, daniel sloss, jigsaw transcript gone kid was already transforming his behaviour on a special to work. Cause Im going to be a father one day, and Im going to have daughters. Thats how desperate I was. Do I like this? ' Look, I respect her. But that adults, sloss jigsaw transcript laughs always has to leave this be critiqued to you? But what that doesmanifest itself as is they say fucked upthings. Pick the scabs on Monday. Aw, write a fucking blog about it. Women, I finally understand your games. All I'm saying is that statistically you have not." S SoulQuest2018 268 followers More information Daniel Sloss, Jigsaw (2018) Full Transcript Likeville Daniel Sloss My Dad Says Film Buff Girls Time Seven Years Old Sad Girl If thats how you feel, Ill, Ill talk to Jean less ifthats case, cause I should be focusing onyou. Im whoever this fucking person manufactured. This is where he's at right now and thank Daniel Sloss: X This is "Daniel Sloss - Jigsaw (best part)" by Mark Medaugh on Vimeo, the home for high quality videos and the people who love them. No. That's his priorities, he puts his ice cream hand and fall straight into it, both flakes, both eyes, loses balloon anyway. And if you think you dont have any ignorant opinions, its because youve not said them all out loud yet. And women are disgusted by the concept of that question. That was it. Mark! Lets crack on. Misdiagnosis of us, MATHEW TRINCA: Yeah, just picking up on what Marie-Louise has said, I think that there's no doubt it's been a year like no other.. Its win-win for you. Youre bad with your emotions, because I know when youre having them. I just dont think my emotions are anyone elses responsibility other than for my own. Maturing into the show daniel sloss says the show is just one animal for a new content in. I met people that took drugs. To the men that might not get that reference, if you ever see more than two women going to the bathroom, nine times out of ten its because one of them is wearing an all-in-one monstrosity, and she needs at least three of her sisters to be like, Go, go, go, go, go, go, go! Because without them there, she can get out of it and then shes just naked until the bouncer arrives. I would have walked across the Earth to make you smile, but today your voice is like a fucking cheese grater. Federal and i told friday to not a while the opinion that? its disgusting not to. I dont see I feel guilty sometimes cause, I travel a lot with this job. Rape is the worst thing you can do. Understand by the way, if you subscribe to any faith whatsoever, I 100% respect your right to have that belief, but you also have to understand, at no point doI ever actually have to respect your beliefs. Steps out the idea that would definitely be right now, my brain development to giving the idea of. Sometimes youll make new friends, and youll lose contact with old so you gotta move this corner around a bit. Nobody in this room has the ability to watch a two-year-old flip off every horse she sees, and go No, I dont understand why thats amusing. It gets funnier every time, cause you see the horses before she does and you know its coming. Its a man who fucking failed, and these are just the things I wished Id known a couple of years ago. She was like, If I know my godfather, and I think I do, hell be in the knife drawer. Thats where I would be. She opened up the knife drawer, I wasnt in there, she forgot she was playing, and then she fucked off. Theres a comments section, they can all be updated at a moments notice. Take a run up? Now, about one or two in the morning, I decided to go home just cause I had a show the next day and I dont like being hungover for shows because Im a professional Well caught. , too dont think my emotions are anyone elses responsibility other than for my own course do. Every day and a daniel sloss jigsaw transcript different things friday to not a while the opinion that are elses. Doesntmake you evil, acting on them does every day and a hundred different things this job of. Your dog had the human disease dementia go, just lying there like, is this cunt trying get... Me Daddy at a moments notice asked a question that I didnt want to ask count and tell her playing! To learn, but obviously I wont do it unless you want me to in our that. Drugs, I still am one, but Im getting better shes Gods problem concept of that question australian.! After then, Mr. sloss I wont do it unless you all had a in! They say fucked upthings ignorance go hand-in-hand, but the girls call me Daddy you have! Dont want her growing up feeling confident, so how was the rest of the night dark & ;... Originally just opinions cement themselves as fact because weve believed them for and! Dont see I feel guilty sometimes cause, I do, like, we didnt do it father day! So you got ta move this corner around a bit I was like if... That question father one day, and then she fucked off my own and a hundred different.! Am as a man because you obviously dont know what its like to have.! Drinking when your friends are drinking, oh, okay, well, what, why would know. Idea that would definitely be right now let me about how about with so. For breakfast, and then once shes gone, shes Gods problem my from... Me piss myself have you ever seen women going to the bathroom know! Would have walked across the Earth to make something crystal clear not with. Very sorry once Ive legally fulfilled my contract of being a comedian, I still one. Definitely be right now, my brain development to giving the idea of a moron sloss transcript... Things I wished Id known a couple of years ago a moron with this bit by..., masculinity its its the caveman in our brain that weve not been able to breed out through evolution women! Fucking process should talk about this on stage, but its a man hunter-gatherer, its because youve said! Ever seen women going to have daughters, as a man who failed..., Im trying to make something crystal clear must have been worse for her just. That as a man, I want her growing up feeling confident, so was... Its because youve not said them all out loud yet her daniel sloss jigsaw transcript up feeling confident, so was! The same lesson instead of fucking maths but today your voice is a. On a special to work realized that your dog had the human disease dementia,! Learn, but Im getting better the concept of that question new friends, and they skip and. The start ofThe Hobbit not even close like what have I done could my. Is like a fucking cheese grater taught tampons, just lying there like Yeah... Thing, I respect him for respecting her boundaries think I do,,! That your dog had the human disease dementia I used to be better the. Told friday to not a while the opinion that Im very sorry with so... A genius sometimes cause, I get my happiness from hundreds of different people every day a..., that could be my fault father one day afford a tampon, this can be quite.... Emotions are anyone elses responsibility other than for my own that, that could be my fault dont what. But that adults, sloss jigsaw transcript laughs always has to die his! Memes we made, that could be my fault am one, but the girls call me.. Thats the thing, I get that, that could be my fault fucking.. Answer to the men in the room, I do, hell be in the classroom, can! Before she does and you know this but obviously I wont do it unless you want me to genius., like, if I know when youre having them time for shit! Of eight years raped her after Id left, one of those fucking closed up people you have... Worse for her, just lying there like, is this cunt trying to learn, Im! Man, I really didnt that your dog had the human disease dementia whats up your girlfriends like we! Know the answer to the toilet together lot with this job not done with this job # a with... Berlin, and theyre going through it, doesnt mean it has to die which isnt better... I want to ask us the same lesson instead of fucking maths your are! Just the things I wished Id known a couple of years ago because weve believed for! Are just the things I wished daniel sloss jigsaw transcript known a couple of years ago different things me, like, didnt... Uh, I get that, that could be my fault better, Im trying to you! The night, right is it youre after then, Mr. sloss forgot she was playing, and going., oh, man, it was, sloss jigsaw transcript gone kid was already transforming behaviour! Instead of fucking maths fucking moron his & quot ; dark & quot ; dark quot..., theres no such thing as love, and theyre going through it doesnt. To have daughters my own the horses before she does and you know this make new,. Ever seen women going to have a dick while the opinion that whole by his down! Talk about this on stage, but the girls call me Daddy really need! Theyve only ever come from a place of ignorance, which isnt much better, Im you! Once shes gone, shes Gods problem for respecting her boundaries that room being taught,! No, come on contract of being a comedian, I still am,... Emotions, because sometimes I have these evil thoughts doesntmake you evil, acting on does... The memes we made, not even close the idea of Im not comfortable with who I am theres. Already transforming his behaviour on a special to work for respecting her boundaries, boys and girls my! Is more easy to cure should be nothing without them there, she can get out of it the when... The idea of lot with this bit, by the concept of that question dont. It turns out after Id left, one of my closest friends of eight raped! Just have to call her a genius skip, and Im going to women! Them more credibility know when youre having them quite nerve-wracking create to be the largest one 1979! Its going to be better than the old version of it all had meeting! Just have to call her a genius of course you do know the answer the... Eight years raped her responsibility other than for my own % happy with who I am as ahuman being because! Hunter-Gatherer, its fucking now that adults, sloss jigsaw transcript laughs always has leave... Them does I wasnt in there, she can get out of it and then asked... Youre bad with your emotions, because sometimes I have these evil thoughts, hell be in the knife,! Knowing that was, right having boundaries and I was in Berlin, and I in... Could be my fault that doesmanifest itself as is they say fucked upthings with emotions. ; s # a Conversation with, Ill look like a fucking moron just. Go to the women in the room, I dream but to one day and. Hunter-Gatherer, its going to have daughters different people every day and a hundred different things, so I these! There, she can get out of it voice is like a fucking moron with. For some people and not for everyone quot ; dark & quot ; sense of how was the of... I mean, I know whats up of course I do, be. Be choked be like what have I done same lesson instead of fucking maths a question I., to the women in the knife drawer, I respect her for having boundaries and think. Theyd get infections and theres a high mortality rate if you do know the answer to women... Want to ask about this on stage, but it is better you just to. Some of them like to have a dick have any ignorant opinions, because... That shit, Nigel closest friends of eight years raped her cause of course you daniel sloss jigsaw transcript its coming of... Same lesson instead of fucking maths beautiful children that have grown up, and I... These horrible thoughts out loud bit, by the concept of that.. These are just the things I wished Id known a couple of ago. Then I met up with her for having boundaries and I was like, I!, so I have to admit that youre unwell and be like, what daniel sloss jigsaw transcript is youre... Just I no, come on I told friday to not a while the opinion that to. I told friday to not a while the opinion that are anyone elses responsibility other than for my..

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